Sarah Hyland's health battle became so bleak that she thought about ending her life.
"At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don't know when you're going to have the next good day, it's really, really hard.""I would write letters in my head to loved ones - of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it's nobody's fault. I didn't wanna write it down on paper because I didn't want anybody to find it", she added.
She describes herself as "very, very, very close" to taking her own life.
"It ended up being myself that got me out of that", she shared. "I had to do it on my own, I told myself I had to do it on my own". I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul searching.'... "I didn't want anyone to know I was that close because if I knew, they would try to persuade me".
"Every person with their anxiety or depression or if you have suicidal thoughts, every individual is different, so I wouldn't just rely on everything that I say", she urges. "You can just talk to me.' And when I said it out loud, they were like, 'Oh, you need to see a therapist'".
Hyland first opened up about her close-kept secrets during an interview with Self magazine last month, but she went into more detail during a conversation with Ellen DeGeneres Friday morning. "Yeah", Hyland replied, explaining that it wasn't until she vocalized her suicidal thoughts that she realized that was not the route she wanted to take.
Though finally speaking her truth out loud was what helped bring her back from the brink, Hyland notes that she doesn't want to speak for all people struggling with depression.
And now, nearly two years on from the second procedure, the four-time SAG Award victor says she's feeling much better and can now enjoy her life, including vacations to Mexico with her boyfriend of over a year, Bachelor in Paradise's Wells Adams. She was overwhelmed by the gesture - until she learned months into their relationship he had to be in L.A. anyway for a work-related reason. Hyland thanks the cast and her "amazing support system" for helping her through some of her trying times.